July 6th, 2017

I tell you what, today feels like the longest day ever, Ok ok that might be an exaggeration and I MIGHT say that every time, but hey some days feel long. lol. I think what I am going to do when I move is take the 30 days I don’t have my son and just focus on me. No social media. No blog. No posting. Just 30 days with me, and getting my mental, my body, my finances, and my life together. Just make it about me. And after those 30 days, really take on the world!  My sons birthday is going to be in there also, and how am I going to make sure that I can be the best version of a mom for him, if I don’t take the time to take care of me now. Soooo that is what I am going to do, change my number, and if you don’t have it or get it, then you wont be reaching me for 30 days, and it is what it is. But I definitely need that time to get back to what I know and what I want.  I am definitely changing from the inside out, and while it isnt a progress that people can see, it is a progress that I can feel and for me, thats enough…. I know my time is coming to shine, and I just can’t wait until I do.

So I literally have a week left until I leave, and its setting in how terribly sad I am going to be. I am leaving my best friend of 8 almost 9 years. and yes, she gets on my nerves, and yes there are times where she doesn’t understand a thing coming out of my mouth, and yes we are COMPLETELY opposite, but it doesnt matter. for the past 3 years we have been there fore each other thru the good, the bad, the ugly, the really ugly, the tragic, and the ecstatic. We have been each others support system and shoulder to lean on, she has been my fake wife and I have been hers. So yes, it is sad to realize that we are going in different directions, but I am excited to see where life takes me and I know no matter what we will always be in each others lives. A connection that special doesn’t come a long all the time, so when it does you need to cherish it. Don’t let the petty things get in the way, and learn to communicate about every and any thing. It will be the best thing ever I promise. To my girl, I will miss you. I will miss your random singing, the little dances you’d do in the morning when we were drinking coffee, the way your eyes light up when you speak about something that makes your soul happy, I will miss watching you interact with Mikai. And I will miss your “tough” love. I love you “to the moon and back” haha (she hates that phrase) but its the truth. Til the wheels fall off, and we’re pushing I got you. No amount of distance can come in between us. Remember that. Our lives might be taking different turns but our love and friendship will not waver.

Being here I have met some pretty amazing people, and gotten the opportunity to befriend some people I never thought I would, I lost some friends, and I lost love, and well wait, I dont quite know how you lose something that isnt yours to lose, but its gone. i lost weight, but not as much as I wanted, haha, I got my teeth fixed, which therefore boosted my confidence, which therefore made me realize that there was something wrong in my thinking before. I realized that you can’t be fixed by what broke you, and once shattered you can continue to shatter, until there is nothing left, and pain changes you. Pain made me a person even I didn’t want to be around, so how do you escape pain? You drink!!! Of course!! So a hurt drunk Katie, well she just made sure everyone around her felt what she felt too, and didnt care who got hurt in the process. Glad we aren’t that girl anymore. Will be leaving with some very valuable lessons, learned I can tell alot about a person by what they choose to see in me. Some see nothing but light, others see nothing but dark, life lesson there. Finding what people see about you.

I learned that I need a second job to fund my tattoo fund!! I don’t make enough to have such an expensive hobby! lol I want it ALL!!!! I mean Ill be conservative.. Kind of. But I want so many! Its not even funny!! Sooo note to self, get second job to support tattoo habit, I mean some girls have a shopping habit, or purse or shoe addiction, nope mine is tattoos. 🙂 I get all hearts in eyes when I hear the buzz of the tattoo needle!! And my sons shoe habit, now he has a shoe addiction, bright and flashy is his thing!! He loves it!! And of course video games! Thats it I need three jobs!! hahahah kidding. kidding. one of us will have to give up our habit. 1, 2, 3, not it~!!! hahahhahahaa he didnt even have a chance! lol

Ok, so now that I have wandered off aimlessly to right field, and then took a sharp left to end up only God knows, it is time for me to go to bed. Basically the point of all of that up there is, be thankful for the friendships you have, whether new, old, or troubled, be thankful. Embrace the people who love you and let the ones who don’t go! Its all in what you give your attention too.

Remember if you can’t find a good person, be a good person!! ❤

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