June 22nd, 2017

As I sit and enjoy my alcoholic beverages. I can’t help but think of things I shouldn’t. Wondering why it is so important to prove a point… Instead of live life. Life is TOOOOO short to be anything but happy. like wtF?!?!?! 

If you are not blissyfully. Effortlessly. Beautifully happy Why are you doing it?! If you have even a doubt of sadness WHYYYY?!?!?! People fake so much in this world today. Its insane. They fake happiness. They fake love. They fake hate. They are just FAKE!!!!! Who has time for that?! Who has time to fake all of that? Who has time to remember all those lines? I mean really?!?!?! Its insane to me. 

If I have to check on someone. Social media. Phone logs. Emails. Texts. Phone calls. Put “tracking” devices on someone. Ima let it go. It’s is NOT worth it. ima firm believer of “if you go looking for it. Youre gonna find it” truth. But if you have to go looking for it. You aren’t happy. You are lonely. You are scared. You are comfortable. It isn’t happiness or love. Thats with anything. Friendships. Family relations. Or relationships. If you have to do any of that. You need to let it go. Cuz you arent happy. There is NO way You are. Believe me. I had a friend who would post pics of her man all day every day. Tag him. Claim him. Tell me how in love she was and happy they were. But then constantly check on him and make sure people “knew” they were happy which they weren’t or she wouldn’t have to do all of that. It’s just people would rather miserable instead of alone. I’ll never get it. Please leave me alone if you cant make me better or being something to the table i don’t currently have. Please bring more than a dick and a headache. Shit I can do bad all by myself. Don t need no help. It just don’t make sense. I go back to my friend. In which I asked her. Who are you trying to convince that you’re happy. Everyone else. Or you two… She didn’t talk to me for about 2 months after cuz I called her on her shit but then realized after She broke up with him it wasnt love. It waS fear. Fear of being alone that kept them together. Neither one of them were happy. Funny how thAt works. I’ll be at understand it. But hey maybe it isn’t for me to get.. But I do get this.


Mmmk bedtime. Got a long weekend ahead of us. Good night. 😘


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