May 13th, 2017

This is the first day of the rest of forever…. I went to bed in my feelings, because I let someone lie to me AGAIN!!!! hahaha You would have thought I learned my lesson the first 118 times, but nope, not Katie, she’s got to believe the good in everyone. Well there you have it folks, there is NO good in this person, and please believe I ninja spin jitsu kicked this door shut 👊👊 and added about 50 locks. I woke up feeling… well different… I was disappointed in myself, for allowing this person to bring me down to the point that I hated them. But I am a firm believer of not saying something unless you mean it, and I meant it. I wish I had never met them, my life would definitely not be what it is today, but they say you meet everyone for a reason right? Well I learned that lesson, they can let it go now!

Sorry I havent written for a few days, I let someone else effect me and my life, that I shouldn’t have. I mean they are a little unit though so it shouldn’t have surprised me that they both were like this. But I had to make my blog private because someone , who says Im irrelevant by the way, read my blog daily! And took upon themselves to post about what I was posting about, I know this because I would get texts asking if I was really talking about that person, and I would say no. I know it may come as a shock, but my world does NOT revolve around either one of you. I know, horrible truth isn’t it. :O shocking!!!! But yes alas, my world doesn’t and when Im writing Im not thinking of you. So please stop flattering yourself and thinking every post is about you! Now this.. in this paragraph is about you! Thank you for taking such an interest in my irrelevant existence to read my blog daily to see what is going on in my life. And then therefore mentioning it to him, so that he can therefore mention it to me. Appreciate the networking effect! Now that we have decided that you two are moving on with your lives together,  you should both really leave me alone while I’m moving on with mine! Stop telling him things that he comes and tells me, cuz I dont care. If something in my blog offends you, its because thats something you are trying to work out with yourself, not with me. So move on with y’all and I’ll move on with me!!!  Thanks a bunch!!! 💞💞

I mean honestly, I shouldn’t have to censor or block things or make things private and keep what I have to say hidden, because someone keeps checking up on me. So here I am, raw, uncut and unfiltered. Who knows maybe we can all have a fun adventure to the truth together!!! All of us, all my followers and ones who just check it out for no reason!!!!

Oh man this week, has been one HEEELLLLLLL of a week, I have been sicker than a dog, and I just cant’!!! Today is the first day all week that I actually woke up not coughing up a lung, my throat wasn’t on fire, and I got shit done, I want to go to the gym, but I still can’t breathe!! hahaha so its like hmmm… go lift weights, and come home?? Orrrrr…. nah? I prolly will, I mean the house is clean, my homework is done for this week, I’ll prolly start on next week, and my little is gone til 4.. He has a slumber party last night, and I swear it cracks me up when him and his friends see each other, they do the handshake stuff.. .haha and then lean in and one arm hug, its hilarious!! I die! Like who does that? I guess pre-teens, but its hilarious to see Mikai and his friends do it! It makes me giggle.

I have less than a month til I go to Vegas, and my little leaves me for 6 weeks. 😣😣😣 wahhhhh… but then when he gets back we’ll have moved!! And yes I made my decision… and no I’m not telling! Not until I wake up in the bed of my new apt in whatever city that is I choose!!  ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜˜ I can’t wait, I can say that, it is going to be such an adventure, and so thrilling, and like one of my older patients told me, life is too short, yet long to stay in the same career your whole life, so I plan on changing my career! Fixin to put this stinking 5 year plan in effect! Which cracks me up, because when people say 5 year plans, they are generally in their 20’s… and honestly I am still a spring chicken!! Really when I turn 32, it will never have looked so good! Before my son graduates high school, I will be where I want to be, so that he can have the future he deserves… I mean they say your 30’s are the best times of your life right?? Guess we’re fixin to see!! 😉

When I was home sick this week, I got the best surprise ever, my best friend in LA sent me flowers for Mothers Day!! They are beautiful!!! With a card that says: “Pinky Raaang,, Happy Mother’s Day! You are strength, wisdom and love personified. We love you very much! – pinky rang and put cho booty up” hahaha Gosh I love them more than ever!!!! Soo funny story goes with that… no one ever believes Gianna when she tells this story, but I promise if its weird, and creepy and doesn’t follow any natural laws of dating or pick up lines, its happened to me!! hahahaha So one night, we are out at First Friday, which for those of you who don’t know, it is something that happens the first Friday of every month down in Vegas, Downtown Freemont Street, they have art, food trucks, local vendors all of that. So we were at a bar, and some guy tried talking to me, and I was ignoring him completely, not paying him any mind, and then he kept talking, and I was like ok dude, please stop talking to me. To which he replies… ” We aint gotta talk, just put cho booty up” insert the story that Gianna tells everyone now!! hahahahahahah I swear! Weirdos!!! When I was in LA last month I was out to dinner with Gianna and she told someone that story and they didn’t believe it again… to which she followed it up with.. ps.. if Katie doesn’t like you, I seriously can’t date you… hahaha Well at least someone loves me that much in the world! haha.. I don’t have a single amazing story from Vegas in the last 7 years that doesnt include Gianna, Roxy, or Morgan. I swear, they are the best things ever.

I realized last night,while I was fuming with anger, and having all these mixed emotions going thru me, I don’t need anyones approval. I don’t need anyone to tell me what I am doing is ok, how I speak is ok, how my hair or makeup looks is ok. I am complete on my own. And some people are just life suckers, they suck the life out of you, and leave you completely drained, and when you no longer have anything left to give they return to their comfort zones. Some people NEED someone and I feel bad for them, never moving on or letting go, because they are afraid that someone or something else might reject them. And I found that I don’t care. I am whole and complete by myself.  I am beautiful, smart, funny, sarcastic, a big ol baby, my mouth is reckless, I am passive, but only for a short bit, keep pushin the buttons and Ima explode, I am caring, I am sensitive, I am empathetic, I am chunky, and I am working on it, I am an amazing mom, daughter, sister and friend. And I love way to hard, to be half loved, or half anything. I am no ones part time, down time, some time. If someone acts as if they don’t care, they don’t and that’s fine, I am DONE trying to keep myself in people’s life’s that clearly don’t need me there or want me there. Truth is, there is NO ONE like me, friend wise, relationship wise, or any other way. I am a one of a kind, I am random, and I sing my answers. I dance in the car, and yes I throw in my off beat white girl moves, I don’t care. I don’t argue, or correct people when they are saying things, because it isn’t that important to prove that I am right. Unless it is about my son, or you are telling me I did something I KNOW I didn’t do. Other than that, people think Ima pushover, cuz I let people get away with things, and I don’t “stand up for myself” no, definitely not a push over, I notice everything, and I do mean everything. The silence, the way you text, or don’t. The way you speak to me, the tone of your voice, the way your face cringes when you talk to me, or about me. The way people talk of things that disgust them, and I am at least 2 of the 5 things. I just choose not to say anything, you give people enough rope they will hang themselves. I am just no longer interested in trying to make things stay that have no desire to stay. I am aware I am going to lose friendships, because I am no longer going to cater to people and their needs. I am just going to simply exist, and the people who are meant to be in my life will stay and the ones who weren’t, aren’t. Point blank, Im tired of pretending to be someone Im not to please others. Im not doing it anymore. I am choosing ME! Besides Mikai, I am the most important person in my life. Not anyone else, basically Ima do what everyone else has already been doing and I have been walking on egg shells to not upset! If that’s the case they are all fixin to crack and break now! I am no longer making my stuff private, I am not gonna block people, no wait I lied, that part I am, I dont wanna see your name pop up on the top of my phone, with an excuse of how sorry you are and blahhh.. its only happened like 22 times before. None of it matters no more! Its me now!!

When you find my name in your mouth, and you go to look at my stuff, please remember how adamant you were that I was irrelevant, and remember that while you’re reading my stuff daily! But don’t worry I wont know if you do or not, I wont be receiving anymore of those texts! Not now, not ever! 🙂

Have an amazing day y’all!!! And if you are struggling to be who you are supposed to be, forget everyone else, at the end of the day, you have you. You need to be able to love yourself, and be happy BY YOURSELF before you can be happy with anyone else or love anyone else.

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One thought on “May 13th, 2017

  1. Great post…continue to be you and do you. People’s opinions of you do not define you. 🙂 enjoy Vegas!! Look forward to reading more from you 🙂
    Check my post out when you get the chance, would love to know your views on the various topics I post about (related to relationships)

    Like

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