May 7th, 2017

God has never made a mistake… if tomorrow wasn’t promised what would you give for today? Forget everything else, forget that there was any sunlight left, what would you spend today thinking about? Yourself? Or the man that’s beside you? Or the man you know your heart you’d give everything too? You get one opportunity in your life, ONE chance in life to do whatever you’re gonna do. To lay YOUR foundation and make whatever mark you’re gonna make. LEAVE YOUR LEGACY! Wins and losses come a dime a dozen, but effort, no one can judge you. Effort is between you and you. Think about that.

I for the life of me can’t understand why bad people get such good breaks. I mean I know I have spoke about it before, and I know it comes from the devil. But I just DONT get it. Evil people get to live such good lives, and happy lives, and they are completely content in their evil bubble. That they are content in playing the victim,. But the thing is you cant play victim to circumstances you create. How do you do that? How do you cause trouble and then act as though you are the battered life? Does it bring you joy to bring pain to others lives? Or does it make you happy to put others down and then act all high and mighty? I have gotten to a point where all I can do is giggle and smirk at the tactics that people use. I just have to keep reminding myself “people aren’t all they “POST” to be” and that even salt looks like sugar. All I can do is pray and hope for the best.

Well I have some good news for me, July is around the corner, and I am 85% of where I am gonna go. Now I just gotta start packing, that’s the fun part you see. Moving is both exciting and stressful, more stressful than exciting right now, but that is just because it is a journey into the unknown. The only good part is life is about changes, and if you don’t like something you can fix it. So if I move and I don’t like it, or it doesn’t work out. Than I can always move on and find something else. Or maybe one day someone will make me plant roots, solid ones. Start with a good foundation, no cracks. Nothing just good ol freshly laid concrete. Its hard to find that nowadays. I don’t understand when the concept of loyalty and honesty and communication went out the window. Oh and respect. Someone always seems to come with some sort of baggage. Something they cling too and cant let go of. Amazing how that always drags into the new relationship. Everyone has a song they sing of their shoulda, coulda, wouldas. And its insane, to sit and listen to them, my favorite is the ” i wish i could go back” well you cant and you cant take back the words you’ve said after they have been said. All you can do is hope someone feels bad for what they’ve said and don’t fall into the “sad songs of shoulda coulda wouldas” sometimes they sing them very well, but you have to know that you are strong enough to ignore it.

As I sit and watch “13 Reasons Why” it makes me even more upset, when people are so cruel with their words. If you don’t know the premise of the show this is it. A girl slit her wrists and bled to death in a bathtub because of bullying, because of peoples cruel words and actions. Crazy to think that words CAN hurt enough to make someone want to end it all. And here people throw them around like rice at a wedding, and never see any consequences. Would you feel bad? If your words, were the last thing someone read before they slit their own wrists, or hung themselves. How would you feel? Would it bother you? Would you at least wonder if you could have done something differently. Or would you feel that it was ok and you were justified? If you are a “call it how you see it” kind of person, and your actions of “calling it how you see it” caused someone so much pain that they wanted to end it, would you stop how you approached people? Or would you talk about that person? Would you say they shouldn’t have been so weak? What would you do? Suicide is real folks, and so is bullying, and amazingly enough the ones who do the bullying play the victim really well. As you get older you wonder is it still called “bullying” when you hit a certain age? But the truth is yes, people bully other people to get their way. They manipulate and twist the truth and things to make people bend to their will. Put people down, lie, cheat, disrespect, and verbally and emotionally abuse people, but still somehow justify why they did it. That my friend is a bully, they are real, and words aren’t just words. Words can hurt, and they also cannot be taken back after you have said them.

Think about what I said in the beginning if tomorrow wasn’t promised, what would you spend today thinking about? I can tell you that most of my days, especially here lately have not been anything healthy. And I need to change that thought process. Its a work in progress, and I have definitely been doing that. Today is my rest day from the gym, but yesterday I went hard. I was in there for 2 hours, I did an hour of cardio, and then I did arms, legs, abs and man today I am so sore. I can’t feel my legs or arms, but it’ll be worth it.

Tomorrow starts a new week. And it is going to be glorious. And I dont mean that to be sarcastic, I am saying it with intention. They say if you set your intention for the day or the week you will have a better week. No more listening to sob stories, or lies, or apologies for actions that will never change. No more bullying, or rude comments. Or mind games, or having someone TRY to tell me IM not good enough without words. People think I don’t pay attention, because Im not loud or voice my opinion, or anything like that. But I pay attention to everything, actions, words, lack there of. And there is more than one change coming in the winds.

Welp its time to go get ready for the week, get my kiddo ready, and clean up from dinner. Read, and get my mind right…

Well wishes, positive vibes, positive life. ❤

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