April 25th, 2017

So it’s back to reality this week, back to the daily grind. Back to life. And here it is. Almost 5 months into the new year. How are things? Have they changed? Have you changed? What have you learned?

Here’s what I have learned. People will criticize and put you down who don’t know you. People will have the audacity to try to call you out But not having all their ducks in a row. The same ones who have ig posts of being out every weekend at the bar or needing a “break” will criticize me for taking a vacation. Funny how that works huh? Its called being a narcissist, they always blame others talk about others and point fingers and then when you feel some kind of way for their behavior. Its still magically your fault. Never able to take blame or responsibility. Always someone else’s fault. Funny how that goes huh? I’m so tired of people scrutinizing my every move. Worry more about you and not me. Actually wonder why you’re so worried about me?! Insane right?!?! I mean I am a lot of things in this world. But I am a DAMN GOOD MOTHER so when you try to knock me as a mom I have a problem with that. And you. But it’s ok. You get what you give. What you put out into the world you get back. And actually I have been doing pretty good. 🙂 all things considered. I just need to figure out where ima move. That’s all. I could stay in Oregon. But there is zero opportunity for advancement and my son is constantly surrounded by racism. I could move to Seattle but I just don’t see myself there anymore. I could move to Cali the place that has my heart. I could move back to Kentucky and have my son be closer to his dad. I could go back to Vegas. Where many great friendships started. But stained and ruined so many places by the memory of him. Or I could find some place new. Who knows. All I know is I am going to make the best of wherever it is for my son and me. And it will be great. My sister is getting married next year in Cali. I can’t wait for that. My wife. And best friend is getting married and asked me to be in her wedding!! I’m super stoked about that. And honored. And meanwhile. I’m super stoked I can run longer and faster and lift heavier with my legs. Lol. 

In due time everything will come together. I will make it. I will be something. I will achieve greatness. Because that’s what I am. And Thats what I’m coming for. Everything they said I couldn’t have. 

Good night. Positive vibes. ✌

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