April 9th, 2017

So here we are… the start to another week, as my cat sits in my lap and begs for my affections, even going as far as sitting on my fingers, as she nuzzles up to my ear and purrs in it, letting me know that she needs just a little bit more affection. The few pets here and there in between typing aren’t enough… she needs more! Hahaha… So basically what I learned in that few minutes with her is… basically Im a cat. I need more. I need more than an occasional pet, or affection or love, I need it all. Which would probably be why Im single! I need too much!! I need support, love, stability, a therapist when I need, someone to push me when I don’t want too, someone to pet me, lol and by pet me I mean booty rubs are life, and I aint squatting heavy for nothing! Play with my hair, forehead kisses mean more to me than anything else. Make me feel safe. So like I said basically I’m a cat! hahaha Just give me love and Ill be happy.. 🙂

I don’t know how many of you are parents, or how you feel about your kids, but I tell you what every time I look at mine, I realize that he is the one thing I got right in this world. I don’t care how many times I mention it or say it, man when I hear him laugh, or see him get worked up about something that makes him really happy that is what life is about. I dont know how it gets better than that. Some days Im like damn I baby him, others Im like its been me and him for 10 years almost, I will baby him on days that I want too if I want too. I dont have another kid, he is it. I dont have siblings for him, he is my legacy. He is the very best parts of me! Sorry I watched him today at the park, and giggled as he kept telling me, Mom I bet you didn’t know you had a boss for a son, lol. Hot mess child. But he’s mine!

Which brings me to my next point with kids, GIRLS!!! Mannn my niece takes every hair tie I own! And then tells me she doesnt.. I know her trickery! She’s crafty! lol I swear tho!! My other niece came to dinner the other night, IN MY OWN SHIRT!!!! Like for reals? You just gon come to the house in my clothes? Lol posted pics on the Gram in her mama’s shirt. Like zero fucks given! YOLO I guess! hahaha Man in that regard I am super glad I have a boy, cuz I dont ever have to worry about my clothes, makeup, perfume, or womanly products missing. He dont need nor want none of those things! hahaha kids, what do you do? You cant live with them and you cant live without them!

I swear as the days go on, I am feeling more and more like myself. Carefree, happy, giggly, random! Its funny how negative people and energy pulls you down! I have never been the black cloud in the room, and in the past I have let people bring me down low enough to become that, and I hated it. I can tell you, anyone who has ever worked with me, or been around me, know me as energetic, bubbly, smiling, happy go lucky. That when something was wrong I wore it like a perfume that was too strong! But not no more, I love the people in my life. The amount of messages I get from people telling me I have inspired them or motivated them or they just love to read my stuff is overwhelming and I love it! It makes me so happy, that I can be that for people. Someone told me I was like the North Star in the sky, ever burning always bright, and you can even see it in daylight. It made me realize that not only can I not be down on days because it isnt any good for my well being but how am I helping anyone else by putting negativity into the world. Believe me I have days, when the door is closed and Im by myself, that I want to scream, or throw something, or punch the wall or just cry. But I let it out and move on, thats all you can do! You cant dwell forever on something! I have never been that person, and I dont want to go back to being a negative force!

So its bedtime, cuz as you know 4am comes WAYYYY tooo early! And this body isn’t gonna be Cali ready if I sleep on it! lol I am getting my “schmedium” body on! lol I cant wait!! ❤

Good night loves! Positive Vibes! Positive Life! If you cant find a nice person, BE A NICE PERSON!!!!

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