April 8th, 2017

Well well  well here we are on a Saturday night, you know living life to the fullest, hahaha by the fullest I mean I am sitting at the kitchen table with my wine, contemplating life.  Its a funny thing time, some people want more, some people want less, and some people waste it, some don’t realize the moment until its gone. And then you are scrambling to get it back, funny how that works huh? When people say time is priceless when you are young, you look at them like they are dumb, like they couldn’t possibly know what they are talking about, how could time be priceless, you have your whole life in front of you to live. Man o man how I wish I would have learned this before 31, and I wasted half my life on the wrong things. Worrying about the wrong things, the wrong men and the wrong friends. You always wish you could get the time back, and all you have are the lessons its taught you, if you’re lucky. Some people throw away the lessons as well. Its insane to me, how people do that. I guess its just one more thing I can add to my list of stuff I dont understand. Anyways.

So as I sat and thought today, about my 5 year plan, man, I honestly can’t wait for what the future has in store, like it is going to be so much. I know that it is going to take time, but I honestly cannot wait. As I was talking to one of my friends today about bullying, and how I always stay a bit longer than I need too with people and she said “Katie that is because you always see the good in people, even if it means putting yourself to the side” It made me think, man how many times, have I wasted my time because I chose to see the good in someone instead of seeing what was plainly in front of me? Like how many times have I done that to myself? Plenty of times for sure. I have a problem especially when I am in relationships, of staying way longer than I need too. But I promise once Im done I am done, there is no coming back from it. And it doesnt matter what is said or done, I am done. I feel as though I reach that limit with alot of things, and with every situation, it takes way longer than what is necessary for me to reach this place. Believe me this is something I am working on.

Walking away from people and situations when I know that it is time, instead of sticking around until I just cant anymore. It causes nothing but resentment believe me. I have been down this road many times. So I would rather leave before there is any resentment so that way it solves the extra middle stuff. And as much as I feel everyone deserves an explanation, when it comes to that there is no explanation that comes with it. unfortunately. I dont know… Im pretty sure that as I get older, and I find myself more and more, I dont feel it necessary to explain myself to anyone, for any reason. I mean end of the story Im not married, and at the rate Im going I probably wont be anytime soon. Call me old fashioned but im only getting married once, so once I say I do and that ring is on my finger, that is it, if you are mad you better take your ass to the living room and cool off before you come at me crazy. ha. I aint getting remarried.

I have learned that most men know within the first date if they feel you are marriage material, so therefore if you are with a man for 6 or more years and you are not married nor has there been talk of marriage either you are not wife material or he is not husband material. I mean think about it, the goal when you date is to get married so therefore why wouldnt you want to get married when dating? Its because people get comfortable and do not want to progress, “yes she is my girlfriend” or “yes he is my boyfriend” but honestly you are single until you are married, and guess what if its 6 or more years and he hasnt proposed, yall are just comfy and its never gonna happen and if it does its out of comfort not love.

Anywho… its bedtime, I have had one too many glasses of wine, and I am definitely looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow. Heres to wishing you all sweet dreams and positive vibes. ❤

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