March 13th, 2017

You know that feeling when you walk in a room, and everyone gets quiet. And you just KNOW that you were the topic if conversation? How does that make you feel? Do you feel good? Or do you feel like wtf WHY am I being discussed?! Personally the kind of person I used to be it bothered me, I would sit around and wonder and think what did I do to make them talk but then I just grew to say fuck it.  In life you meet people, people that help you, teach you, hurt you, love you and leave you. I think the hardest part is realizing that people you wanted for a season only came along for a reason and you have to let them go. This could be a relationship, a friendship it doesn’t matter, but just know when it comes you have to have the courage to thank them and move on. Sometimes what is meant for you isn’t meant for others and they can’t follow.

I have been feeling a bit nostalgic lately and I’m not quite sure why.  But I have been thinking a lot about my past and the things that got me to where I am today. Like wondering if I would have made a left instead of a right where would my life be.  If I would have just left the door shut when God closed it instead if drop kicking a few back open how would the quality of my life be now. If I had put MY happiness above the happiness of others where would I be. Have you ever done that? Felt guilty for wanting something and making yourself happy because you’re worried about who’s feelings are going to be hurt in the process of your happiness? Has it ever bothered you to feel like what you want isn’t as important as what someone else wants? I have. Several times. Its almost as if I’m afraid to disappoint everyone but myself. Like no one else can be mad at me But I can forget that I want things too. I’ve done it my whole life. Made decisions based off what other people have said or felt. At almost 32 I finally realize that it isn’t about other people it’s about me and spending my life pleasing other people has brought MYSELF nothing. If you are a constant people pleaser I feel as though you need to find yourself and make yourself happy. Even if it means someone might not like your decision. Try it once and tell me how you feel! Tell me if you feel liberated to try it again! Ha.I guess what I’m trying to say is stop selling yourself short. Realize your worth and add some tax. 

My son had a dentist appt today and boyyyy did he hate me at it.😀😀 He had to get 2 shots in his cheek and he hated it all. They pulled a tooth with an abscess and fixed his filling behind him he better thank his lucky stars he doesn’t have his mama’s bad teeth. His are good! I mean I guess he didn’t complain too much when I bought him ice cream afterwards. 😍

Be yourself. It will attract the right kind of people when you are. Love yourself. Be kind to others. And spread love not hate. Good night and peace✌ from the bed of a wandering gypsy soul πŸ’—πŸŒžπŸ˜

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