March 9th, 2017

Today…… man… if it had a name… it would be the day the Devil came up, wrapped himself around every fiber of my being and made it the worst day EVERRRRRRR!!!!! I mean seriously, firstly I feel like I am coming down with something as I am winded really easy, and lets face it, I might be a bit out of shape, but I am NOT that out of shape, considering I run damn near every day, but I am winded from walking across the parking lot. So that irritated me, and then I come home and get ready for work, and the dog had buried a bone in the backyard, I went to go get him and bring him inside and apparently he thought I was going to take his damn bone from him, so he bit me. It was a gnarly bite, and it set the tone for my WHOLE day, I was pissed. I mean beyond pissed, I wanted to punt the damn dog across the backyard. But instead I walked inside and was just irritated with everyone all damn day. While at work, I almost tripped and fell on my face which therefore, made it even worse, and then I had everyone telling me that it was going to be alright… Ummmmm SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!! Stop telling me that everything is going to be alright, you know what is going to make it alright?? Leaving me the hell alone so that I can get out of my rut, stupid stupid stupid!!! I was so mad. And it just kind of stuck with me almost all day. God bless the man who has to put up with me and my attitude when I am stuck in that mood!!! I swear it was just a bad day, I kept having to remind myself its a bad day, not a bad life. I actually have an amazing life, I have great health, despite being slightly chunky, I have no health problems, no high blood pressure, no diabetes, no high cholesterol, my knee snap, crackle, pops every time I walk down steps, my back I have a slight fracture, and a bulging disc that I ignore! hahaha And I mean I have a job, a roof over my head, my bills are always paid, I have a car, MY SON HAS HIS HEALTH!!!! I have a family, and friends I call family. I mean what more is there really? Hahahaha I only say this because we know how I have been feeling lately with groundhog day. Soooooo we are going to try and break up the monotony of this thing we call our life. Saturday we are going to the art museum for a poetry and creative writing workshop. I am super excited, and then its a girls night. Then next Saturday we get to drink wine and attempt to paint a picture. That should be fun as well. Trying to find different things, fun interesting things to do before we leave this place we have called home… Its time to move on to new and better things, things that wont happen here, things that just arent possible here. I want more I want better I deserve it, and my friend does too.. We have been thru alot, man, her and I….. we are quite the odd couple tho, most people dont understand us or our friendship, and I think that is the beauty of it. Because no matter what anyone says or thinks we rock with each other, strong as could be. No matter what, whether Im right, wrong or indifferent she has my back. And vice versa.. She loved the parts of me I hated when I couldnt love them, and I loved every dark place of her, until she shined her own light on them. You know it used to bug me when people would wonder why we were such good friends, and now I just smile and nod. No one has to know or understand what it is but us…. I know it makes it seem like we are in a relationship and that is not my intentions. We just have a solid foundation, one that may have cracked but never broke, and we always find our way back to each other. I think on days like today its good to have a good support system, a backbone for you when you cant be strong for yourself because your mind is all over the place, and you dont know which way is up or down. I am pleased to say I have that. In more than one person..

In conclusion, I feel that people need to be ok with the fact that not every day is sunshine and roses. It does rain, and on those days its ok to take the time to sit back and be by yourself. Just dont camp out there. Remember its a bad day, not a bad life. If you keep that at the forefront of your mind I think you will be ok in all your future endeavors. From the mind of a wandering gypsy soul, with too much attitude and sass today.. good night and no bad vibes.

To my friend: I hope you do great things in the world, I wish you nothing but a life of happiness, health, wealth, and laughs. You deserve nothing less than everything. I know you will get it. Your perseverance, and ability to overcome indescribable odds, make you one of the strongest women I have ever had the pleasure to meet. This isnt goodbye nor will it ever be, this is just my note to you to let you know that you have inspired me. You have motivated me. You have helped me. In ways you will never understand nor will I ever be able to describe them. You are unstoppable, fearless, relentless, and beautiful. The world is yours, and I am honored and excited to watch you conquer it and take it. My beautiful friend I love you. Til the wheels fall off Louise…. Love Thelma… ❤

 

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