February 27th, 2017

Have you ever wanted to just disappear? You know evaporate into thin air, become one with the wind? Or some shit like that? Some days I feel like just shutting off myself, my phone, and just disconnect from the world. The thing is When you have an 11 year old it isn’t something that you can just go and do all Willy nilly and disconnect from the world. But some days I just want to cease to exist. No I’m not suicidal nor do I contemplate it. I simply mean that I just want to be at peace and find myself and I tend to do that when things get overwhelming but as easy as it would be to do so… I can’t. When you are a mom and you work. And you have someone depending on you to make things better or easier or just be there for them you cant. But man some days… You ever feel like you were destined for something more? More than what you were doing. More than where you are. More than what is going on?! I do. All the time. I want more than what I’m doing. I loveeee helping people. It is my calling. But I can’t stand working for an industry. Because they are More worried about money than patient care anymore. I want to be about the people. Make the people feel better. Make them feel like they are genuinely cared for and about. I want that for others….I want people to have a place where they feel safe and appreciated and warm and welcome and like someone understands them.. Everyone deserves that. So I feel like I’m destined for more. I’m destined to be great. Not for the money tho it will be nice to have the financial freedom. But because people need someone in their corner. Funny how that works isn’t it?! 

You see with me… You either love me. Or you hate me. There is no in between. There is no middle ground. You either love me. Or you can’t stand me. And if you can’t stand me well I feel sorry for you Cuz I’m pretty awesome. But anywAys. At work it’s generAlly just the small talk. I have a strong personality. And it often clashes because people don’t know how to take me. I am loud. And outgoing. And myself laugh fills empty spaces and echos. But I’m fine with that. Its who I am. But I guarantee that I make people smile. I make them feel good about themselves. I make them giggle. And guess what at the end of the day that’s all I care about. Did I touch anyone’s life today and did someone have a better day because of me? That’s it. Nothing more. Nothing less.

I encourage you to find what is your calling and go for it.. Change a life. Make someone smile. Be the listening ear. You never know who needs it. 

From the nodding of the head of a wandering gypsy soul. Good night. ❤❤✌✌

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