Umm… is there a word for tired beyond words and my eyes are burning from staying open for so long/my world is slowly but surely crumbling down and Im not quite sure how Im holding onto reality right now?!? Because if you have a word that would be amazeballs, until then we’ll just say FUCK… Cuz that seems to be the most appropriate word, I am finding it harder to be positive and optimistic here lately, with the events that seem to be unfolding around me. I guess I am doing a good job, but inside I feel it. Why do things always come in three’s?? Oh em gee… do they ever.. Death, Love, happiness, karma… it comes in three’s. I mean I personally think that it should follow the guideline that three’s a crowd… But I guess my opinion here doesnt really matter!!! You know to be honest, as I sit here and type words are failing to come to me. Being empathetic in todays world is a curse, I am starting to feel, I feel peoples pain like no one else would, except the person experiencing it. I am so sad for the people and the world we live in, the fact that some people have such an addiction to things that they let that run their life, an addiction can be a drug, alcohol, a behavior, a person, anything can be an addiction. But it is sad to think that someone can let this one thing control their life and have the potential to ruin it. I watch so many beautiful people deteriorate trying to live up to someones expectation, and then crumble under the weight of the world.
I feel like I am crumbling some days, you try to be a good person, a loyal, just, right and trustworthy person, and each day someone tests you, I know that is God testing you, but man. I feel as though I am failing miserably at that as well considering at the end of the day I feel beaten down and not like I conquered anything. A couple told me this morning that my disposition was one they didnt see often anymore, and it was refreshing, and it made me think ok, so maybe it isnt as bad as I think.
With that being said let us jump to the next topic at hand which is… TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!!!! If you shouldnt be eating/drinking/or doing something DONT FUCKING DO IT!!! Man there is so much death lately that its just solidifying what I have been saying which is LIFE IS TOO SHORT!!!
Man so get healthier, take the stairs instead of the elevator, dont take seconds, do NOT eat the candy bar. Well eat it, but only eat one, not 4, dont eat fast food, COOK A MEAL… and drink water. Mann… its sad to me that some people wont get this until they are sitting on their death beds grasping at strings for once more chance at life. When all they had to do was stop being stubborn and give up there vice, and change a few things.
It makes me sad. Most people wont understand, and thats fine. You dont have to get it… but try not to wait til its too late.
Ok honestly I dont know what else to say, so I am going to try and continue to unwind, and drink the rest of my wine, and go to bed.