January 30th, 2017

Monday, I mean seriously, that should be enough of a blog right there. No extra words, no paragraphs or anecdotes, just the words MONDAY! Ok well enough complaining, here we go.

Lemme tell you what you when you have had a routine,and you falter from it, it is like pulling teeth and swallowing nails to get back into it! I hate that, Im not gonna lie, you get yourself used to something and then its gone. Or you stopped doing it, and then you keep trying to find a crash course back to what you were used to, hitting a brick wall at every turn, and not really finding the strength to get back to it, but really wanting it. But there it is really, like the million dollar question of the day.. HOW BAD DO YOU WANT IT? Do you want it bad enough to have early mornings, and sleepless nights? Do you want it bad enough to block out everyone else and do what is necessary? Do you want it more than you want to have a social life? Do you want it more than you wanna be on social media? I know for me personally, its a struggle, a struggle to stay motivated, a struggle to wake up, a struggle to go to the gym 5 times a week, a struggle to work out at home. Some days I would rather sleep in than get up and go to the gym. Some days I would rather eat tacos than eat clean or healthy. Some days I want to lounge about and watch Netflix or movies all day. Some days I JUST DONT WANT TOO!!!! Being honest, the thing is though, its those days that you need to want it for yourself more than you want the other things. Someone pushing you or “nagging” isnt going to get you anywhere because the thing is you have to want it more than they do. Most people think they want something until they get ready to actually do it, and realize the road to get there isnt all flowers and daisys. The path to success is never just a straight path, first you have to take a left, a right, another left, circle back around, go across this way, flip a bitch, come back, go left again, make 3 rights and then get directions to the next destination.Success is never easy, it is attainable, but not when someone wants it more than you.

Which brings me to my next point of how different everyone is, no two people are alike, no two people cook the same, eat the same, look the same, think the same, or act the same. In fact everyone is different and guess what?! That’s the beauty of it all, is that everyone is different. Peoples ambition or lack thereof, there drive or lack thereof, there focus or lack thereof, its all different. Imagine how boring the world would be if we were all the same, We all knew the same things, we all thought the same thoughts and we all acted exactly the same. There would be no excitement,or randomness, or anything of the sort. Think about it, are you with someone because they are exactly like you? Or are you with someone because they have a common interest or share a common bond with you? Are you friends with someone because they love all the same things as you? Or do you love that they love different things and can bring something new and exciting to the relationship? Being unique is what sets us apart from other people, the problem you see is that everyone is constantly trying to please someone, or be liked. No one wants to really be themselves anymore out of fear of rejection, you see rejection is a motherfucker that’s for sure. No one likes to be rejected, no one wants to pop up with every good intention and be all happy JUST TO BE SHUT DOWN. Or let down, its a bitch I tell you. Rejection, Desire, Drive, Ambition, Success, Fear… What do all of those words have in common you ask? they are all very powerful words that produce very different outcomes and each person possess all of these very talents, it is just a matter of whether or not they utilize them. But on the same topic but different note, it isn’t up to US to judge or determine whether or not someone else is living up to their full potential or not, the only person we should ever be concerned with living up to full potential is our self, or kids if you are a parent but that is a different topic. We should all, (myself most definitely included) be so worried about whether or not our own grass is green and watered and free from weeds that we don’t have the time nor energy to pay attention to anyone else’s grass. That is just the real, I am guilty of it on so many occasions, talking about a friend wondering why they were wasting their talents and being the way they were but who the hell am I to say that what they are doing is wrong? Who am I to say that they aren’t doing anything with their life? In that regard, I am no one. But when it comes to me, myself and I, I am everything, the alpha, the Queen, the ruler, the decision maker,the sun rises and sets with me, that is who I AM! When it comes to me, I AM EVERYTHING! And that should be enough, you do not need anyone to tell you, you are doing a good job, you do not need anyone to validate you or your actions, you do not need ANYONE to do that for you. You have to be able to do that for yourself, and trust me coming from someone who has struggled with my own self-worth and confidence enough in my life, I can tell you, YOU ARE ENOUGH. But you have to believe it, don’t let someones opinion of you and your life and your wrong doings or your faults determine how you feel about yourself. Don’t let someone who isn’t you, tell you any different.

Well now that I have done gotten all deep and brooding, lol, I can basically say that I needed to get back to getting up early and going to the gym and getting my fitness on because I hate doing it at night, because it takes too much out of my time, annnnd I didnt. Moral of the story, I was lazy and sleep felt like it was more important. I am just trying to prioritize and I kind of suck at it, or maybe my priorities are just different than others. My son is gone on the weekends and yes of course I could make him stay home, and what not but he is 11, and overall he is a good kid, he pulls the normal boy stuff, tries to get away with murder, and then gets mad when he gets caught, but overall he is a good kid. I got lucky, so he generally stays at his friends house or his cousins house for the weekend, so during the week I try to make sure I see him, well if I don’t go to the gym in the morning, I hate going on night because I feel like my time could be better spent somewhere else, but then I come home, and sit with my son and I end up texting while watching a movie with him, and then Im like well damn I guess I could have went to the gym, oh damn.Now what, so its like a cycle, and it keeps repeating . Tonight for example, I didnt wake up at go to the gym, I set my alarm but for 4:45 PM, Not AM, and so I didnt go, then I go to work, which was surprisingly good for a Monday,  and then I come home. Start to blog, watch my son do his workout, which lemme tell you, he beasted thru, then we sat down and ate dinner together, and started to watch Harry and the Hendersons, and he passed out on me. Its the little things, its the joys of knowing your kid still finds you comfortable to fall asleep on, that he still wants to spend time with mom. Im trying to teach him the importance of good classic movies, so we’ll do them one at a time. Although we are gonna have to do this one again tomorrow! Ha…

I guess all Im really trying to say is stop letting other people make or break you, stop trying to live up to someone else’s expectations of what your life should be, stop trying to impress people or fit in with the “in crowd” truth is none of them really like you, hell they dont even like themselves.

So be you, be fierce, be funny, be adventurous, be angry, be passionate, be brilliant, be amazing, be happy, be YOU!!!!

 

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