January 20th, 2017

If there were ever a day that could go down in the books as being “Katie’s emotional breakdown day” It would be today, between the end of Satans week, and today just being a cluster fuck of horrible events. I AM DONE!!! I told my friend Tasha tonight that we are like Spinster Sisters, as we sit here on a Friday night, I drink wine, we have no kiddos, and we watch movies all night! WITH THE ANIMALS!!! hahaha Its way funnier if you were here… like in the moment.

Anywho… So back to the day I had, first of all it would be my grandpa’s birthday today had he not been gone for 10 years next month. He was… man he was one of a kind. He was both blunt and 100%  a sweet heart all at the same time. We used to argue about nothing and everything, he was one of my best friends growing up, granted him and I got into it alot, and he would always call me on my bullshit, he was amazing. He was a painter and did landscaping and he was also a Priest in our church. Growing up the Priest’s grand-daughter man… did it put some pressure on me! haha… i didnt go trick or treating at first because my grandpa said it was bad, and then I didnt do school dances or anything like that. I got to go on painting jobs with him, and he was so proud and happy when I had Mikai, he just loved him, probably more than he loved me. Anyone who knew my grandpa was blessed to have had him in their lives. Unfortunately he got pancreatic cancer and then after they did the surgery for that they found he also had lung cancer, his body wasnt strong enough to withstand the second surgery, so unfortunately we had to let it just let it run its course. We did our best to make him comfortable and let him be at home. The morning he passed, I got to see him and say goodbye. I like to think he was at peace but all in all He was just the bees knees to me.

On top of it being his birthday and him being gone, my Uncle Time has been gone for 11 years today. I must say I have been truly blessed to have some amazing men in my life, my Uncle was my favorite on my moms side. I mean I dont know what else to say except he was, just full of life, and vibrant, and one of a kind. He was always there for me , he knew I was pregnant before I knew. I dont know how, but he knew. He was just absolutely energetic given his circumstances. My Uncle suffered from Cystic Fibrosis, and actually the doctors told my grandparents he wouldnt make it past 8 years old, and boy were they ever wrong, they didnt realize what a fighter they had on their hands. For those who dont know Cystic Fibrosis is a defective gene that causes a a thick build-up of mucus in the lungs, pancreas, and other organs. It traps bacteria in the lungs and the areas affected by the mucus. He was a fighter though. Besides my son and my dad, those two men had my heart and I never told them. Actually at times Im quite sure I was a dick. They always say cherish what you have before it becomes what you had. Even now I try to type this thru tear stained eyes If you have someone in your family, just kiss them or hug them or call them and tell them what they mean to you. Anyone actually. Any of your friends, or family. Life is too short.

Well now that I have completely ruined any buzz I had going on with my wine, I will move on. Yesterday was squat day at the gym, and lemme tell you…. I CANT FEEL MY LEGS!!!! Hahahahaha I told everyone at my job that it was their personal duty that when my booty gains started to become more prominent to comment on it. They all agreed, so I guess Ill keep working on it. hhahaha. Actually I dont mind, but I cant wait for the gains to come in!!! I have been eating rather healthy and I have lost 8lbs, I hope  to keep this up. But today my work mom, took our pod out to lunch and it was mexican, it was AMAZEBALLS!!!!! Ima sucker for food, I am pretty sure that I just work out so that I can eat whatever I want without gaining anymore wait! hahaha

My eyeballs are swollen and puffy, and it is WAYYY past my bed time. But I still have wine in my cup, so I guess you have to listen to my ramblings just a bit longer. Or nahh.. cuz I am like nodding off while writing!! haha I wont be  “chasing sleep” tonight. I plan on sleeping forever!!! lol

Well folks, thank you for bearing with me while I bawled my eyes out telling you about my day!! Sleep tight. ❤ Til tomorrow.

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