January 14th, 2017

Have you ever had a song just play on repeat? Just over and over and over and over. Never getting tired of it. The way the music explodes into your ears, and seeps down thru your whole body. Whether it be the melody that carries thru and rides each wave of your curves and resides back in your ears, or the sound of someones voice as it enters your ears, and gives you goosebumps everywhere. I know for me, there are like 5 songs I can put in a playlist, and let them play over and over and never get tired of them. The way these mens voices just touch me. Music is more than just words and melodies. Music is life. It can uplift you when you are down, or it can make you sad. Music speaks when you have no words to say. The sad part is most people dont appreciate music the way it needs to be. Dont get me wrong some of the songs today have a nice beat, but that is NOT real music. REAL music is the kind that touches your soul, makes you want to move, and makes you free. The best way to describe it is when you are listening to Gospel singers, you know how you always have that one song that just gives you chills. The man or the woman singing, you feel it radiating thru you and you know that song is it. Thats the only way I can describe it, if you havent felt it… Man.. are you alive? Do you have feelings? Are you real? Music leaves such an imprint on people, people hear a song and can smile to themselves, like this was the song playing when I had my first kiss, or the song you remember rocking out in the car with your parents too. Or the one you had a blast with your friends too. It is also the opposite you can hear a song and burst into tears. Like this song was playing when he told left me. Or this was “our song”, this playlist played on our roadtrip, whatever the deal is. Music makes MY life brighter. I would probably die if I couldnt have music. Not many know that I was a band geek, I played bass clarinet and clarinet. And also piano, the piano, oh my has such a way to transport you to another world. When you play up there each note is you. Every sorrow or happiness or tear or smile comes thru in your notes. The long low deep notes express your sorrw, while the higher happy fast tempo key strokes express your joy. I will one day own a grand piano in my living room and I will play it for my grandkids and teach them all the things I know. Teach them to have a passion for something and go after it daily.

I mean that is all life really is right? Having a passion or a dream and never stop striving for it? Nothing worth having in life comes easy, I will never forget that phrase. Do you think fighters stop after they get knocked out once? Or song writers throw in the towel when one company refuses to look at their songs? No, they do not, because they have a passion and want it more than they want to breathe basically. I wish everyone came with that drive, but sadly that is not the case. Most people give up too easily, when if they would have only pushed just a little further, gave out one more demo, dug a little deeper they would have made it. How sad it is to know you gave up so easily when everything you ever wanted was within arms length? That is generally how close someone is when they give up. I remember one time when I was running, I hated it, I was feeling angry and bitter that some skinny wench next to me was running like it was nothing and wasnt stopping. My legs hurts, my lungs hurt, and my head was giving up on me. So I sucked in a deep breath looked at myself in the mirror and pushed harder, I had tears streaming down my face as I pushed myself just a little bit harder, and longer, and then harder and longer yet. I finished my mile without stopping, but it was much more than just being able to run the mile without stopping, it was learning my boundaries. Nothing is ever fun when its hard for you, not a hobby, or an exercise, or even blogging. But how will you ever get better if you dont do it? Or try?   I think everyone has a warrior inside of them, but it is up to them to pull them out. You cant depend on others to push you, I know sometimes that is easier said than done to just let someone else save you, but truth is, if you cant save yourself  no one else is gonna save you either. I know that sounds harsh, but its reality, stop waiting on someone to come in on a white horse, sword drawn and rescue you. Seriously fix your crown and save yourself. You’ll thank me later, when you know how to stand on your own two feet. I learned that one the hard way, I had gotten content with being alone, I was just fine, and someone came along and fucked it all up for me. And then they made me need them and they dipped. Soo never again will I allow that to happen. That is definitely not a subject for tonight though! Ha!

As we approach midnight, and I convince myself I am NOT hungrier than a hostage in Somalia, I believe it might be my bed time. I swear whats the saying, I got 99 problems, and being hungry as hell this late at night is all of them!! hahahah

Keep on, keeping on! ❤

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